During the conversation.
This is about having purpose and poise, which includes exploration of ways to deescalate the situation, remain calm, and understand throughout that this is not about YOU.
Overreactions are almost certainly about the other person and about what’s going on for them. Learn how to respond to threatening behaviour, whether that’s a threat to self or threat to YOU.
Poise
Speak calmly.
Be kind and respectful.
You may be met with unexpected emotions; don’t meet anger with anger.
Be okay with tears.
Breathe.
If things become overheated, reschedule to let emotions cool.
Purpose
Clarify the purpose of the conversation, and keep this in mind throughout.
Listen for understanding.
Try to see it from their perspective.
Focus on solutions.
Come up with actionable next steps.
One good goal is that everyone leaves the conversation feeling clear about what was discussed and certain about some ways to move forward.
If you’re the one initiating the conversation, make it clear that you have the best interests of everyone in mind and that you’re looking to find a helpful solution.
Where appropriate, at the close of the conversation, thank the other person for their time and acknowledge the positive outcomes of the meeting – summarise what the agreed solutions are, what improvements will be made, etc.